sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
