i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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