i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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