Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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