He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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