Is it because I queefed?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
