remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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