At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
