life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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