I just made out with a guy for $7.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
