So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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