A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
