The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
