I wannas sexs uuuuu
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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