I just cut my nipple shaving
Fuck appropriateness.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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