Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
