Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
