ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
