The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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