I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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