she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
