the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
