So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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