She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
