I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
