perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
