You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
