sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
