i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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