Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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