Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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