I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
