o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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