I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
