:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He felt like a one man threesome
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Still dying that you shit outside
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
