We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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