i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
