yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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