Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
