Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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