you guys were way drunker than both of me
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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