I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
