i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
