the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize