whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
