so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
