do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
