We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize