I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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