I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
