Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize