I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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