So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
