in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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