On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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