He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
