I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
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I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
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some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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