Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
