Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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