The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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