I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
