Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize