I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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