Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Are we still banned from the library?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize